TandemTales

Leaving bristol in high winds and rain, over loaded with instruments and gear. Geoff sets off getting lost in deepest St Phillips and Old Market…

30 mins into the journey he gets a heavy blow out and punctures his tire. He is taken in by a local charity warehouse where Andre helps to fix his bike.

Back on and delayed he can’t find any Bristolian to ride with him out of the city… He heads for deepest darkest Avonmouth – ” watch your back” one cyclist remarks. Suddenly the cycle paths disappear to a dead end. A man on a tandem is stared at by confused locals – “you’ve lost your mate” people cry. Geoff can’t seem to find any talent or pedal power here.

Geoff finds himself on the main roads swimming for his life, huge lorries drone and drown him in water. Industrial building smoke looms ahead and he weaves north towards the Severn Bridge.

Behind this noise he finds quiet off-path lakes and trees that guide him through up towards Thornbury. An hour or so later, he is greeted by two cycle signs route 45, but doesn’t no which one to take. It seems hours before he stops going around in circles-aargghhh! There is no one in these back waters to meet and ride with, small houses are tucked away as the M5 violently drones in the background. Must get away from here…

Geoff finds himself in Berkley and reads a sign: “Police Tackle Youths”. Geoff gets a snickers and leaves promptly.

He is later guided with another cyclist along the beautiful canals lined with barges into Slim Bridge. Still no riders. Rain finally stops. BANG ! Another blow for Geoff and his wheel. This time back tyre done a hammy. He carries the bike half mile until he sees life again. A pub. A pint later and kind Barry from Yorkshire in Gloucestershire offers to help him fix his bike. Kearon his son has a go on the tandem -although he doesn’t help him get very far- mew.

Off into the evening sun, hours behind schedule (what f……schedule!) with a gig in a few hours, Geoff pummels the 13 miles to Gloucester. The pint of 6.5 cider has drained Geoff and he begins to wobble through mock tudor cricketing villages. He collapses into Jess’s Organic milk, 5miles from Gloucester and it saves Geoff. Then he dis- honestly gives half of what he should into an Honesty Box for the milk.

Ed, a keen old cyclist, picks him up and they ride together into sunny Gloucester. Where Mark from Couch surfing puts him up.. more pints, pasta, bed.

Second day, is bright and early as Geoff sets off busking in town for breakfast – a miserly £1. He gets him “the biggest sausage in Gloucester” (pie-shop lady).

Scoffs it and leaves after police threaten him with cycling in a pedestrian area. No-one wants a lift anywhere, not even to work! He gets out going around and around and around again looking for the right road. Everybody with a different answer. He finally heads to Tewkesbury.

Getting into rhythm, he works well on an empty road, Malvern hills on one side he finds himself in sunny Tewkesbury. The Tandem is well admired but no one takes him on, more locals with conflicting information and directions he heads North to Worcester, open roads. No cycle paths here as he fights up hills laughing on the way down.

John is out busking and jams with him. John does this as he doesn’t have a job. Geoff get photo with Elgar statue and food at Phat Nancy’s. No cycle routes he takes the main roads. Full of beeping lorries, screaming motor bikes, Geoff grins on…. another 15 miles later he hits the strange town of Bromsgrove.

Hours are lost in this place. Geoff is angry, screaming and swearing at this dead end town. He snails up huge hills, still no riders, no great scenery or conversation, he’s mad.

Suddenly on the hill he sees “Welcome to Birmingham” he celebrates then realises its another 10 miles to centre, he gets there before dark, to the Yardbird for a concert, too tired to play he grabs his free pint. Tells tales about the tour and leaves – exhausted he almost falls over.

Taken in by Jivago and the other 7 Couchsurfers there that night he is looked after, fed and bed.

Day three rains agains, on the bike with Annabella, who rides him into town. Shattered he mets buskers, poets, and religious preachers. Hal and Barry turn up bright eyed in the van picking Geoff up squashed between the childrens’ hospital and the police station. Stoke on Trent here they go!

A quick tour of the city centres of Stoke on Trent they met up with Michael from rednile and Anna Francis, David, Bernard and others. An urgent gig at the Air Space gallery follows and they shoot to Manchester for a gig at the ‘Day and Night’.

“Whisky Lace” steal the show (a welsh heavy metal band). Quick tour of the area- Manchester greets them well- architecture beams broadly. The badger’s back and out and raring to go. Geoff is recharged.

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